Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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