that's an acceptable place to lick
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Randomize
