She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
