If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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