why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
