The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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