my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
