the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
