a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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