I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
