Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm too high and old for this...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
