Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
