it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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