I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
