your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
