my soul wont recognize me after tonight
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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