I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
