So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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