Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
