i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
