I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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