Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
