At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
