So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just had sex on a roof
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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