I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
