Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He shit in the fireplace
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
