All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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