PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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