i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
