I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
