I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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