i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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