i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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