end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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