Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
