I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
