I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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