I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
