weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
