there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
