Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
