Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
