....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
