he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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