I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
