dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
