I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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