She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
