this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
