Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
